1
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NARRATOR: <i>Once upon a time,</i>

2
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<i>in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy,</i>

3
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<i>an astronaut named Tony
Nelson went up on a space mission.</i>

4
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<i>The missile went up,</i>

5
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<i>but something went wrong,
and they had to bring it down.</i>

6
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<i>Captain Nelson landed on
an island in the South Pacific,</i>

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<i>where he found a bottle.</i>

8
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<i>At least, it looked
like a bottle.</i>

9
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<i>But it didn't act like a bottle.</i>

10
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[???]

11
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<i>Because in it was a genie.</i>

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<i>Oh, not your average,
everyday genie,</i>

13
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<i>but a beautiful genie...</i>

14
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<i>who could grant</i> any<i> wish.</i>

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[???]

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-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

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<i>Captain Nelson was so
grateful, he set Jeannie free,</i>

18
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<i>only she didn't want to be free.</i>

19
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<i>You know how it is</i>

20
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<i>when you've been cooped
up in a bottle for 2000 years.</i>

21
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<i>She wanted to have fun.</i>

22
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<i>And she wanted to have
it with Captain Nelson.</i>

23
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<i>So she followed him
back to Cocoa Beach,</i>

24
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<i>a mythical town</i>

25
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<i>in a mythical
state called Florida.</i>

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<i>And there in this house,</i>

27
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<i>the girl in the bottle
plays Spin the Astronaut.</i>

28
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[???]

29
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Hi.

30
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I thought you went to sleep.

31
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I thought you went
to sleep, master.

32
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No, no. I decided
to work on my model.

33
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Isn't it a beauty?

34
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Mmm. Very nice.

35
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[SIGHS]

36
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You must be hungry. Uh-uh.

37
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Well, you ate hardly
anything for dinner.

38
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[GIGGLES]

39
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[SNIFFS]

40
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[SIGHS]

41
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I almost made it myself.

42
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You know what is in it?

43
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Yes, 4000 calories.

44
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Tsk.

45
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[WHINES]

46
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[CLEARS THROAT]

47
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You are without shoes again.

48
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I will go fetch your slippers.

49
00:02:51,323 --> 00:02:53,342
No, no, no, please.
Don't bother. Don't bother.

50
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,685
It's no bother at all, master.

51
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I don't like being
fussed over...

52
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When I'm working, I don't
like being fussed over.

53
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But, master, I do not...
Please don't call me "master."

54
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It makes me feel
like a fat old caliph.

55
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Oh, thou art
neither old nor fat.

56
00:03:06,494 --> 00:03:07,936
Thou art most handsome.

57
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Am I? Mmm.

58
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What did I do with that glue?

59
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Oh, I'll get it. Hey, hey, hey!

60
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Now, be careful.

61
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Look, I put a lot
of time in on this.

62
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Do I not know it.

63
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Every night, to
fashion a child's toy.

64
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It's not a child's toy.

65
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This is an exact replica

66
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of the one we're
gonna use next month.

67
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Master?

68
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There's a moon out tonight.

69
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Would it not be pleasant
to stroll along the beach?

70
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Hm-hmm.

71
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Yeah. Yeah, why
don't you do that.

72
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[SPEAKS IN ARABIC DIALECT]

73
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There.

74
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There, it's done.

75
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How about that, huh?

76
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Looks real enough to blast off,

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doesn't it, hm?

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[GIGGLES]

79
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Well, master, back to
the old drawing board.

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[???]

81
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[???]

82
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[CHUCKLES]

83
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What art thou laughing at?

84
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Uh... Well, it's a little funny.
What are you reading, Jeannie?

85
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I'm reading a scroll.

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"The Eman-ci-pa-tion
of Modern Woman."

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What does it mean?

88
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Jeannie... Oh, you don't have to

89
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worry about things like that.

90
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Oh, but I do.

91
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I want to understand
your way of life,

92
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so that I can please you.

93
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Well, you please me very much.

94
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Matter of fact,
you're... You're perfect.

95
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[GIGGLES]

96
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Dost thou really think so?

97
00:04:53,049 --> 00:04:54,915
Yes. Yes, I do.

98
00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:57,533
Oh, uh, do you have
to say, "dost thou"?

99
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We say, "do you."

100
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Oh.

101
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Do you think it would
be possible for me

102
00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:03,518
to view the sights of
your village tonight?

103
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Why, certainly.

104
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[CHUCKLES] [CHUCKLES]

105
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Oh... Oh, no, no.

106
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Why not?

107
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Well, it's the way
you're dressed.

108
00:05:10,589 --> 00:05:12,789
You look like a fugitive
from a costume party.

109
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Well... How should I dress?

110
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Oh, I don't know. Uh...

111
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Why don't you pick out someone

112
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that dresses well and copy them.

113
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[GIGGLES]

114
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No, no. I-I don't
think you get the idea.

115
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Oh, but you do dress well.

116
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Well, thank you very much.

117
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But I-I wish you'd stop
these silly little tricks.

118
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So... except for the
manner in which I speak,

119
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dress and act... I am perfect?

120
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That's right. Now, you
just keep working at it.

121
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Remember...
practice makes perfect.

122
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I'm a little late now.
I'll see you tonight.

123
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[SIGHS]

124
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[DOOR CLOSES]

125
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Master! Master!

126
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[CAR ZOOMS AWAY]

127
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Hiya, Captain Nelson!

128
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How's the old boy?

129
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"Are you a loser in the
battle between the sexes?"

130
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Mmm.

131
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"Is the man in your life
aloof, indifferent to you,

132
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impossible to please?"

133
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Mm-hm.

134
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"Does he fail to appreciate
what you have to offer

135
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as a person, as a female?"

136
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Hm. The answer is obvious.

137
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"The answer is obvious."

138
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"One, you must
learn how to challenge

139
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his masculine arrogance."

140
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[CHUCKLES WICKEDLY]

141
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"Two, you must be independent,
self-reliant, unpredictable.

142
00:06:49,847 --> 00:06:53,407
"Three, you must learn to cope
with him on his own grounds.

143
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In short, you must become
a modern American woman."

144
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ROGER: Check
manual-mode ECS operation.

145
00:07:09,404 --> 00:07:12,764
TONY: Manual mode
ECS satisfactory.

146
00:07:13,148 --> 00:07:15,483
Check O-2 tanks one
and two pressures.

147
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[CLICK]

148
00:07:18,494 --> 00:07:21,028
O-2 tank pressure: 400 p.s.i.a.

149
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[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

150
00:07:27,137 --> 00:07:28,904
BELLOWS: Check suit temperature.

151
00:07:30,305 --> 00:07:32,421
Suit temperature is low.

152
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,148
Check suit pressure.

153
00:07:34,146 --> 00:07:36,583
Suit pressure normal.

154
00:07:36,579 --> 00:07:38,214
I'm feeling a
little light-headed.

155
00:07:38,211 --> 00:07:40,424
Switch to your manual
auxiliary oxygen.

156
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,541
You hear me, Tony?

157
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,040
I hear you.

158
00:07:45,221 --> 00:07:47,188
Now give me a reading
on your oxygen supply.

159
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:52,034
O-2 flow is... normal.

160
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Ugh! Okay.

161
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I'll bring you down, Tony.

162
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TONY: <i>Roger.</i> Yeah?

163
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I mean, roger, I'm coming down.

164
00:07:59,016 --> 00:07:59,977
Oh.

165
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[CLEARS THROAT]

166
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Hi, Roge.

167
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Must have been a
blockage in the oxygen valve.

168
00:08:19,117 --> 00:08:20,304
Oh, we'll have it checked.

169
00:08:20,303 --> 00:08:21,520
How are we feeling?

170
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:22,768
Hungry, sir.

171
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,333
Well, didn't you eat
your tube of roast beef?

172
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That's what made me hungry.

173
00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:28,307
I'll see you in the
morning, captain.

174
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All right. Get dressed.

175
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I got a real treat for you.

176
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I found the greatest
Chinese restaurant

177
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run by a Greek, and
the egg foo yung, mmm.

178
00:08:35,986 --> 00:08:37,171
You'll have to count me out.

179
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:38,420
I'm gonna have dinner at home.

180
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,214
How did you swing
that, old bachelor buddy?

181
00:08:40,211 --> 00:08:42,744
Um... Well, I have a girl
who comes in part-time.

182
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And she cooks dinner for you?

183
00:08:43,989 --> 00:08:45,045
Yeah, sure. Every night.

184
00:08:45,044 --> 00:08:46,680
Well, where did you
find this treasure?

185
00:08:46,677 --> 00:08:48,183
I, uh, picked her
up on the beach.

186
00:08:48,181 --> 00:08:49,592
See you, Roge. Uh, uh.

187
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Think you could have this girl

188
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cook for both of us some night?

189
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:53,625
No, no, no. You
wouldn't like it.

190
00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,388
She's a terrible cook.

191
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Jeannie! Home!

192
00:09:15,196 --> 00:09:16,729
Well, what's going on?

193
00:09:21,118 --> 00:09:22,978
Ahem. Jeannie.

194
00:09:22,975 --> 00:09:24,741
Are you there?!

195
00:09:25,854 --> 00:09:26,880
Jeannie?

196
00:09:26,879 --> 00:09:27,879
[KICKS BAG]

197
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:46,037
Now, what is going on here?

198
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Jeannie.

199
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:51,121
[KICKS BAG]

200
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Oh! There... Hiya, master!

201
00:09:55,046 --> 00:09:56,618
How's the old boy?

202
00:09:56,615 --> 00:09:58,699
How's the old boy? What
have you been doing?

203
00:09:58,696 --> 00:10:00,875
I've been doing nothing.
Yeah, well, I know that,

204
00:10:00,871 --> 00:10:02,763
but I mean, what<i>
have</i> you been doing?

205
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,785
I have been studying

206
00:10:03,784 --> 00:10:05,900
the "Emancipation
of Modern Woman."

207
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,335
Oh. Oh, that. I guess
you got so caught up in it,

208
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:09,707
you forgot to do the housework?

209
00:10:09,705 --> 00:10:10,860
Oh, I did not forget.

210
00:10:10,859 --> 00:10:12,429
I decided to let you do it.

211
00:10:12,427 --> 00:10:13,493
Wh... Me?

212
00:10:14,508 --> 00:10:17,328
"How not to be a drudge.

213
00:10:17,323 --> 00:10:18,831
Share the work with him."

214
00:10:18,829 --> 00:10:20,560
Now, come on...
That's what it says.

215
00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:22,705
Yeah, but that advice
is for ordinary women.

216
00:10:22,702 --> 00:10:24,048
Now, you're not ordinary women.

217
00:10:24,046 --> 00:10:25,457
You're a genie, Jeannie.

218
00:10:25,455 --> 00:10:28,341
I mean, all you have to do
is bat your eyes, and presto!

219
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:30,098
No more presto.

220
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,860
You must not take
me for granted.

221
00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:34,453
Y... I never did that
in my... I never...

222
00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:35,858
And besides, I'm an astronaut.

223
00:10:35,856 --> 00:10:36,882
I'm not a housekeeper.

224
00:10:36,881 --> 00:10:38,323
Mmm.

225
00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:39,604
You must widen your horizons.

226
00:10:39,602 --> 00:10:40,948
Yes. And you
must take a little...

227
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:42,902
Here, I have a present for you.

228
00:10:42,899 --> 00:10:43,956
Now... Now, tha...

229
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:45,365
This is going just too far.

230
00:10:45,363 --> 00:10:46,646
[DOORBELL RINGS]

231
00:10:46,644 --> 00:10:47,990
[SQUEALS]

232
00:10:47,988 --> 00:10:49,366
Oh, no, you don't.
No, you don't!

233
00:10:49,364 --> 00:10:51,896
[STAMMERS] Now...
Jeannie, no, no, no!

234
00:10:51,892 --> 00:10:55,394
Jeannie. Will you
just calm down, hm?

235
00:10:56,694 --> 00:10:57,655
Yes?

236
00:10:57,654 --> 00:10:59,065
MAN: Delivery for Mrs. Nelson.

237
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:00,703
[SQUEALS] Mrs. Nelson?!

238
00:11:01,463 --> 00:11:02,552
Where do you want these?

239
00:11:02,551 --> 00:11:04,539
Back at the store.
I'll take them.

240
00:11:04,536 --> 00:11:06,524
Sign this, please.
What's going on here?

241
00:11:06,521 --> 00:11:08,156
A woman should have
the kind of wardrobe

242
00:11:08,153 --> 00:11:11,841
that makes her feel successful,
alluring and irresistible.

243
00:11:11,834 --> 00:11:12,795
Yeah.

244
00:11:12,794 --> 00:11:14,301
The mink coat will
arrive tomorrow.

245
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,447
Mink coat? Where did you
get the money for all this?

246
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,853
Chapter three:

247
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:19,550
"How to Open a Charge Account."

248
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,894
Yeah, well, I want you to forget

249
00:11:20,892 --> 00:11:22,143
this subversive literature.

250
00:11:22,141 --> 00:11:23,262
All those boxes go...

251
00:11:23,261 --> 00:11:24,639
Go straight back to the store.

252
00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:26,656
I don't know how you think
I'm gonna have the money

253
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:27,904
to spend on this kind of thing.

254
00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:30,435
Jeannie, it's... I just
can't afford this...

255
00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:32,899
Jeannie... You are pleased?

256
00:11:32,895 --> 00:11:34,495
Pleased?

257
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:37,388
Oh, you're beautiful.

258
00:11:39,617 --> 00:11:42,375
I may keep the gown?

259
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:45,256
Is it... very expensive?

260
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:46,951
Insanely.

261
00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,606
You may keep the insanely.

262
00:11:49,604 --> 00:11:51,592
A-and the slippers?

263
00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,961
And the slippers.
A-a-and the perfume?

264
00:11:53,957 --> 00:11:55,142
[SNIFFS]

265
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,230
And the perfume.

266
00:11:56,229 --> 00:11:57,993
[SQUEALS]

267
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,156
Thou art all heart.

268
00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:07,885
You didn't learn that from
reading any magazine.

269
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,484
You hungry?

270
00:12:09,482 --> 00:12:10,764
Famished.

271
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:11,851
[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

272
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,292
What will we have?

273
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:14,990
Champagne. Mm-hmm.

274
00:12:14,987 --> 00:12:16,589
Caviar. Mm-hmm.

275
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,093
Filet mignon?

276
00:12:18,091 --> 00:12:19,886
What next? Oriental.

277
00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:21,935
Uh, uh, fresh asparagus? Mm-hmm.

278
00:12:21,932 --> 00:12:23,117
Uh, baked Alaska.

279
00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:25,167
Yes. [CHUCKLES]

280
00:12:25,164 --> 00:12:27,217
Uh, uh, Napoleon
brandy with the coffee?

281
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,113
Mm-hm. [GIGGLES]

282
00:12:30,190 --> 00:12:31,151
Well?

283
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,657
Well, what?

284
00:12:32,655 --> 00:12:34,098
Aren't you gonna conjure it up?

285
00:12:34,096 --> 00:12:36,563
Oh, nay, master.

286
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,997
No more of those
silly little tricks.

287
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,268
From now on, you
will do the conjuring,

288
00:12:41,265 --> 00:12:44,233
with the credit card.

289
00:13:01,174 --> 00:13:02,681
Uh, why don't I
order for both of us.

290
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:04,635
Uh, we'll have
two filet mignons.

291
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:05,753
We will have fish.

292
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:08,027
We... Don't you like steak?

293
00:13:08,023 --> 00:13:09,273
Lesson two:

294
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,934
"You must be independent,
self-reliant, unpredictable

295
00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:14,238
without seeming obvious."

296
00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:16,991
Ahem. We'll have
two fillets... of sole.

297
00:13:16,986 --> 00:13:20,257
May I suggest a white
wine with the fish?

298
00:13:20,251 --> 00:13:21,693
A nice Chablis?

299
00:13:21,691 --> 00:13:23,133
Yes, yes. That'll be fine.

300
00:13:23,131 --> 00:13:24,542
Oh, I will have champagne.

301
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:25,855
Lesson number three.

302
00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:26,910
No, five.

303
00:13:26,909 --> 00:13:29,075
"An expensive woman
is a popular woman."

304
00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:31,167
Champagne, please.

305
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:32,565
Very good.

306
00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:35,650
Jeannie, I think it's very nice

307
00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:36,801
that you want to learn more

308
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,049
about modern American women,

309
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:40,035
but a little knowledge
can be a dangerous thing.

310
00:13:40,032 --> 00:13:41,667
Do you realize, master,

311
00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:44,518
that this is the first time
you have ever taken me out?

312
00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,693
I want it to be a
memorable occasion.

313
00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:48,260
Oh, I'll remember it all right.

314
00:13:48,258 --> 00:13:49,989
I'll remember how
beautiful you look.

315
00:13:49,986 --> 00:13:51,300
[GIGGLES]

316
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,768
Well, that is because I am
having such a wonderful time.

317
00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:54,724
Good.

318
00:13:54,723 --> 00:13:57,031
I have not enjoyed
myself so much

319
00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:59,465
since the night my master,
the sultan Harun al-Rashid,

320
00:13:59,461 --> 00:14:01,021
entertained the
great Marco Polo.

321
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:03,080
You really met Marco Polo?

322
00:14:03,078 --> 00:14:04,648
Oh, indeed, yes.

323
00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,282
We used to hunt
wild boar together.

324
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,368
What was he like?

325
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:09,000
Oh, he was a wild bore.

326
00:14:11,272 --> 00:14:13,613
Are you sure you need this?

327
00:14:13,609 --> 00:14:16,049
Yeah... Oh, yes,
yes. Pour, please.

328
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,527
[FANFARE PLAYING]

329
00:14:20,523 --> 00:14:22,656
[APPLAUSE]

330
00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:26,957
<i>Bonsoir, mesdames et messieurs.</i>

331
00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:28,976
For your pleasure,
the Tail of the Peacock

332
00:14:28,973 --> 00:14:31,442
is happy to present a program

333
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,938
of authentic harem dance.

334
00:14:33,934 --> 00:14:35,600
[LOUDLY] Oh, I used
to do those dances

335
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:37,731
at parties for the sultan.

336
00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:41,717
Performed by the
distinguished<i> artiste,</i>

337
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:43,282
Sadelia!

338
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,910
[APPLAUSE]

339
00:14:45,905 --> 00:14:47,971
[HAREM DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

340
00:15:17,113 --> 00:15:18,613
[CLINKING CYMBALS]

341
00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:53,862
In my day, she would
be flung to the crocodiles.

342
00:15:53,858 --> 00:15:55,458
Shh, Jeannie, please.

343
00:16:04,037 --> 00:16:05,896
She has never been
a harem dancer.

344
00:16:05,893 --> 00:16:08,009
That girl is an impostor!

345
00:16:08,006 --> 00:16:10,326
[QUIETLY] Jeannie, please.

346
00:16:26,411 --> 00:16:28,045
She is not fit to
dance for an audience

347
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:29,390
of camel drivers.

348
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,958
Be quiet, Jeannie, please.

349
00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:33,189
I'll show you how the
dance should be done!

350
00:16:38,029 --> 00:16:40,434
All right, lady. Now,
we are going home.

351
00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:43,091
Oh. She calls that
harem dancing?

352
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,144
<i>Monsieur!</i>

353
00:16:44,143 --> 00:16:45,618
I know, I know, I
know. We're going.

354
00:16:45,616 --> 00:16:47,185
Not before you pay your bill.

355
00:16:47,183 --> 00:16:49,017
Hm? Oh! Sorry about that.

356
00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:52,021
Sorry about that?
Sixty-four dollars?!

357
00:16:52,017 --> 00:16:54,230
That includes the amusement tax.

358
00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:55,699
We were not amused.

359
00:16:55,697 --> 00:16:57,205
Neither were we, <i>mademoiselle.</i>

360
00:16:57,203 --> 00:16:59,766
She moves as gracefully
as a dog scratching fleas.

361
00:16:59,762 --> 00:17:00,885
She is my wife.

362
00:17:00,883 --> 00:17:02,325
Sorry about that.

363
00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:03,765
Here. Keep the change.

364
00:17:03,763 --> 00:17:04,863
[MUTTERS] Come on.

365
00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:09,336
[GIGGLES]

366
00:17:09,334 --> 00:17:11,233
[MUSIC PLAYING AT HIGH SPEED]

367
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:20,986
[BOTH LAUGHING]

368
00:17:20,984 --> 00:17:23,504
That's the funniest
thing I ever saw.

369
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,532
That poor girl.
[CHUCKLING] Well,

370
00:17:25,529 --> 00:17:27,966
I am pleased that it
amused you, master.

371
00:17:27,962 --> 00:17:30,302
[CHUCKLES] Where are
we going tomorrow night?

372
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,350
Nowhere.

373
00:17:32,347 --> 00:17:34,207
Oh, but... But there
are 17 more lessons

374
00:17:34,204 --> 00:17:35,519
that I have not tried out yet.

375
00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:36,638
Yeah, well, forget it.

376
00:17:36,637 --> 00:17:38,047
I don't think they
had you in mind

377
00:17:38,045 --> 00:17:40,064
when they wrote that
magazine article, Jeannie.

378
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,946
But... But I-I want to
be a typical woman.

379
00:17:42,941 --> 00:17:45,421
Well, woman,
maybe. Typical, never.

380
00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:47,779
A woman, maybe?

381
00:17:47,776 --> 00:17:50,468
I have been practicing
for over 2000 years.

382
00:17:50,463 --> 00:17:52,741
You just better keep right
on practicing, young lady,

383
00:17:52,737 --> 00:17:54,917
because a woman doesn't
act the way you did tonight.

384
00:17:54,913 --> 00:17:56,418
But your behavior this evening

385
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:57,668
was absolutely disgraceful.

386
00:17:57,667 --> 00:18:00,107
Oh, and let me tell
you one more thing...

387
00:18:05,508 --> 00:18:07,308
You still have a lot to learn!

388
00:18:41,774 --> 00:18:43,889
Oh, Jeannie, I'm
ready for breakfast.

389
00:18:43,885 --> 00:18:45,685
Hey, how about
conjuring up some...

390
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,048
bacon and eggs?

391
00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:49,079
Uh...

392
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,540
Now, Jeannie, come on.

393
00:18:58,673 --> 00:19:01,107
You might have waited breakfast.

394
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:05,721
Let's see, uh...
"Demonstrator wanted.

395
00:19:05,716 --> 00:19:08,633
"No..." No experience necessary.

396
00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:10,527
Sam's Discount Center."

397
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:13,942
Good morning.

398
00:19:13,941 --> 00:19:15,095
Allah be with you.

399
00:19:15,094 --> 00:19:16,344
Huh?

400
00:19:16,342 --> 00:19:18,266
Ladies, gaze upon the ultimate

401
00:19:18,263 --> 00:19:19,224
in kitchen wonders:

402
00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,665
the Miracle Oven.

403
00:19:20,663 --> 00:19:22,908
Well, what about it?

404
00:19:22,904 --> 00:19:24,507
Oh, what about it?

405
00:19:24,504 --> 00:19:26,331
Uh... well...

406
00:19:26,329 --> 00:19:30,017
Uh, it... Its wonders
include an automatic timer,

407
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:31,869
electric clock,
stainless-steel counter,

408
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,180
built-in meat thermometer,

409
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:35,872
an all-new, built-in
Roasterama interior, heh.

410
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:36,956
Uh, whatever that is.

411
00:19:36,955 --> 00:19:39,552
Eh... It's just
like all the others.

412
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,510
Come on, Pauline.

413
00:19:40,509 --> 00:19:42,079
Let's try the shop
across the street.

414
00:19:42,077 --> 00:19:43,391
Oh, please, wait!

415
00:19:43,389 --> 00:19:44,575
If you do not fork over,

416
00:19:44,573 --> 00:19:46,944
I will not have a commission.

417
00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:48,383
Oh, believe me. Believe me.

418
00:19:48,381 --> 00:19:51,249
This Miracle Oven
is<i> truly</i> magical.

419
00:19:52,095 --> 00:19:53,826
For instance?

420
00:19:53,824 --> 00:19:54,946
Well, uh...

421
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:57,060
i-it will cook
whatever you desire...

422
00:19:57,057 --> 00:19:58,018
[SNAPS]

423
00:19:58,017 --> 00:19:59,010
instantly.

424
00:19:59,008 --> 00:20:00,322
Instantly?

425
00:20:00,321 --> 00:20:02,761
I will demonstrate.

426
00:20:16,262 --> 00:20:17,383
It is done.

427
00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:19,112
I don't believe it.

428
00:20:19,109 --> 00:20:20,776
I will show you.

429
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,210
[ALL GASPING]

430
00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:25,740
[CROWD CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

431
00:20:25,735 --> 00:20:28,493
Did you see what I saw, Pauline?

432
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,796
I think so, Frances.

433
00:20:30,792 --> 00:20:32,524
I think I'll buy one.

434
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,253
[ALL SHOUTING]

435
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,077
You wouldn't like it.

436
00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:38,351
Now, really, ladies, we...

437
00:20:38,347 --> 00:20:41,137
When you get
home, it won't work.

438
00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:44,338
WOMAN: Miss! Miss, I'd
like to see it bake a cake.

439
00:20:44,332 --> 00:20:45,839
ALL: Yeah.

440
00:20:45,837 --> 00:20:47,670
All right.

441
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,030
JEANNIE: Oh.

442
00:20:53,197 --> 00:20:54,801
Uh, what kind of a
cake do you desire?

443
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:56,883
Oh. Devil's food.

444
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:57,905
Food of a devil?

445
00:20:57,904 --> 00:21:00,404
PAULINE: Oh.
Well, chocolate cake?

446
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,843
With coconut icing.

447
00:21:01,841 --> 00:21:02,881
[SNAPS]

448
00:21:05,457 --> 00:21:07,224
Here you are.

449
00:21:08,274 --> 00:21:09,235
[ALL GASPING]

450
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,126
WOMAN 2: That's
fantastic. [WHISTLES]

451
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:12,599
Do you know what it is?

452
00:21:12,597 --> 00:21:13,878
Sure.

453
00:21:13,876 --> 00:21:15,703
It's a fraud. She's a phony!

454
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,032
[CROWD YELLING]

455
00:21:19,222 --> 00:21:21,178
Pardon me, ladies.
Pardon me, ladies.

456
00:21:21,174 --> 00:21:22,551
Ladies, ladies, ladies...

457
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:24,281
Ladies, will you
please don't be excited?

458
00:21:24,279 --> 00:21:26,908
It's just some little
misunderstanding, I'm sure.

459
00:21:26,903 --> 00:21:28,217
I was just pitching a demo,

460
00:21:28,215 --> 00:21:29,819
so they would fork
over a commission.

461
00:21:29,817 --> 00:21:31,419
That discount store
across the street

462
00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,858
sent you here to make trouble.

463
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,684
Oh, no! Yeah, let's go, Jeannie.

464
00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:36,476
She's not going
anywhere. Oh, yes, she is.

465
00:21:36,474 --> 00:21:37,628
Don't let her get away!

466
00:21:37,626 --> 00:21:39,806
[WOMEN YELLING]

467
00:21:39,802 --> 00:21:41,522
MAN: You can't do that!

468
00:21:42,075 --> 00:21:43,842
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

469
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,352
Jeannie.

470
00:22:21,348 --> 00:22:22,759
You've been in
there all evening.

471
00:22:22,757 --> 00:22:24,089
Now, come on out.

472
00:22:27,111 --> 00:22:29,034
Jeannie, there's no
reason to be unhappy.

473
00:22:29,031 --> 00:22:30,864
It could have
happened to anyone.

474
00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:36,206
[SOBS QUIETLY]

475
00:22:36,201 --> 00:22:38,641
It could not have happened
to a modern woman.

476
00:22:39,657 --> 00:22:40,991
You were right.

477
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,174
I'm a failure as a woman.

478
00:22:44,171 --> 00:22:45,806
Oh, you are not.

479
00:22:45,803 --> 00:22:48,272
You're everything
a man could want.

480
00:22:48,268 --> 00:22:50,833
You're... You're
warm and considerate.

481
00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:51,789
Affectionate.

482
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:53,231
Oh, master.

483
00:22:53,229 --> 00:22:55,217
You need an outlet for
all that affection in you.

484
00:22:55,214 --> 00:22:57,491
Oh, that is what I've
been trying to tell you.

485
00:22:57,487 --> 00:22:59,153
And I have the answer.

486
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:00,368
Oh. Yes?

487
00:23:00,367 --> 00:23:02,034
You need a pet.

488
00:23:02,031 --> 00:23:03,538
A pet?

489
00:23:03,536 --> 00:23:07,063
Yeah. You know, like a
dog or a cat or a parakeet.

490
00:23:07,056 --> 00:23:08,948
Did you ever own
a pet back there?

491
00:23:08,945 --> 00:23:11,029
Oh, yes. Once.

492
00:23:11,026 --> 00:23:12,597
His name was Sim.

493
00:23:12,595 --> 00:23:14,230
The sultan gave him to me.

494
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:16,053
Good. Well, first thing
tomorrow morning,

495
00:23:16,050 --> 00:23:17,301
you run down to the pet shop

496
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,966
and get one just like him.

497
00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:20,310
Or better yet, why don't you...

498
00:23:20,308 --> 00:23:21,461
fetch old Sim here?

499
00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:24,195
Oh, master, thou art brilliant.

500
00:23:27,350 --> 00:23:29,498
Ohh. [NERVOUSLY] Ah, ha.

501
00:23:32,509 --> 00:23:33,470
Yeah.

502
00:23:33,471 --> 00:23:35,049
[SNORTS]

503
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:30,411
[SIGHING] Oh.

504
00:24:30,412 --> 00:24:31,712
Ooh.

505
00:24:31,713 --> 00:24:35,081
[???]

506
00:24:35,131 --> 00:24:39,681
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